I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
