I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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