i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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