I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
