I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
