We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
