Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
