I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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