we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
