Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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