She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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