Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
