We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I could fuck to npr.
You are the jesus of drinking
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
