I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
