My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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