I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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