Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
