I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
