her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize