plz talk dirty to me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Life is so much better after having sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
