Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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