So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
