it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
