we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
