Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
