...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
