i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
