Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
