I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
