Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
