I just made out with a guy for $7.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
