Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
