I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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