Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
