he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
