hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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