i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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