Your face is a jimmy john
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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