just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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