winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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