Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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