When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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