Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
