is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
