i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you would pick up someone in the library
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
