Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
