accomplished twins. life is a go
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
