the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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