Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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