I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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