The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize