i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
