No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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