I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
