I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
