Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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