is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
