i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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