question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You ruined the universe
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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