I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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