I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
