I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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