So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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