Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
