Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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