I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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