He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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